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The dogs of GRrrC share how to train your owners

Fred Basset

Fred Basset

Galvanize blog author

Are your owners having a ruff time adjusting to the new reality of working from home? The Galvadogs share tips and tricks to help you train your best friend.

If you think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, you’d be barking up the wrong tree. We combined our hundreds of dog years of experience to help ease your humans into the work-from-home (WFH) lifestyle.

1. Stick to a regular routine

Imagine, for a moment, that you understand the concept of time. Humans have something called a “schedule,” and being without their routine can be as terrifying to them as a vacuum cleaner is to you.

They may miss standing around the water bowl with coworkers, meeting face-to-face with the barketing team, or putting on something besides sweatpants.

Make sure your human wakes up at the same time every day. Do this by ominously standing over them and letting out a jarring bark, or by licking their face. They will thank you.

2. Keep things clean

As your food provider and chief belly scratcher, it’s imperative that your human is frequently washing their hands. Consider implementing some internal controls that provide assurance around effective hand sanitation, including:

  • Scattering the kitchen garbage everywhere
  • Increasing slobber production
  • “Accidentally” knocking over the liquid soap.

Some of you may be saying, “Hey, I eat old cereal from under the couch and dine on dirt from the backyard.” We all do, but both humans and canines have to be more careful with our cleanliness right now, okay? So keep those paws clean!

3. Limit snacks and treats

Humans are very food motivated. And now that they’re always home—and close to a regular food source—you may notice they increase their consumption. As their best friend forever, it’s your responsibility to make sure they don’t over-indulge. You can do this by:

  • Making sure they go for regular walks, because humans need a lot of exercise
  • Barking at nothing out the window every time they take a trip to the kitchen
  • Snatching their food when they aren’t looking.

That last one is what we like to call a win-win. By employing these tactics, you can help your human avoid getting husky.

4. Take breaks throughout the day

A two-year long Stanford University study showed that humans who work from home are more productive. So this means your humans have earned a few breaks. However, many will just “power-through.”

This is where you come in. Encourage your human to take regular breaks by sitting on them, or their office equipment. You can also bring your most-treasured, slobbery toy over and lay it on their hands.

Whining near the door every two hours is also a tried-and-tested tactic which works with 99% accuracy. If none of these tactics work for you, start eating out of the trash or pick a fight with the cat. Your human will step away from that computer faster than the speed of a flying disc.

Whether it’s letting out a high-pitched whine during video conferences to remind them you’re there, or snatching their sandwich off the kitchen table to make them smile, your human is counting on you more now than ever to help them adjust to their new WFH reality.

Even though they have a great team supporting them virtually, there’s no substitute for you!

We reached out to the Galvacats for input on this article, but they declined to participate.

Sure, this article is a little far-fetched, but with all the uncertainty and negative news lately, and the fact that it’s April Fools’ Day, we thought we could all use a little fun.

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